Bipolar Relationship??

Is that a thing?  I don't mean to offend anyone, but it's the only way I can describe my relationship with Owen.  We go from one extreme (yelling, kicking, whining <-- usually Owen, but sometimes me) to the other (cuddling, sweet, I love you's) with rarely any interaction in between.  It amazes me and also makes me wonder.

Yesterday, I picked the kids up after work and was informed that Owen seemed tired.  This is, literally, one of the phrases I fear the most because it usually means I am in for an explosive night with my darling Owen.  Sure enough, it started in the car.  Owen wanted gum.  I said no.  Did I have a good reason to say no?  Not really, it was just the first thing that came to mind.  Would it have been bad to give him gum?  Physically?  No.  But, because I said no, I had to stick to my guns.  A little lesson I am learning.  I offered him an Altoid to ease the pain.  Vance took it immediately, Elsa passed, Owen pouted.  I told him I would give him until the count of three and then I was taking the Altoid back.  One .... Two .... Three.  No dice.  I took the mint back.

That's when the tantrum started.

"Mom, give me the mint!"
"Mom, I'll take the mint now"
"Mom, please may you give me the mint"
"Mom, it's not fair Vance got a mint and I didn't"
"Mom, if you don't give me the mint, I won't be your best friend"

This went on for 20 minutes, the entire car ride home.  I did not give in.  It would have been so easy.  The yelling and temper tantrums would have stopped and I would have been able to listen to music in peace.  But, no, I stuck to my guns and it was a horrible car ride.

It got worse when we pulled into the garage.  He threw his stuffed animal at me because I was ignoring him.  Then, he started kicking the seats.  I took him right to his room and locked the door.  I got Vance and Elsa out of the car and brought all of their school bags inside.

Once Vance and Elsa were playing outside, I went to Owen's room to talk to him.  He was calm.  I hugged him and told him we weren't discussing the mint anymore.  Then, I asked him if he wanted to have a snack with me.  We sat in the kitchen and ate hummus together (yes, this is our snack of choice) just me and my Owen.

For the rest of the evening, he was cuddly and affectionate, he said I love you a lot, he was my good boy Owen.  Extremes.  That is all I can describe our relationship as.  We are either super loving and affectionate, or we scream and yell.  I hope it gets better.  Though, not if it means we have the in-between where we don't yell but we also aren't affectionate.  I don't ever want to not matter to Owen.

On a side note, one of these days, I will record Owen saying my favorite thing "Don't judge me, Mom, don't judge me."  Does he know what it means?  Absolutely not, which makes it funnier.