What Does This Say About Me As A Parent

I have a few different stories for today's blog.  I've been saving them up to give one, big, fantastic, blog blow out.  No just kidding, they all happened in the last three days and I wanted to write them all before I forgot.

Today, was Costco day in the Owen Michael Paul household.  I decided to be brave and took all three kids with me after work.  What started as a normal and, actually, pleasant Costco trip soon turned loud and tear-worthy.  Owen and Elsa were sitting "up front" in the cart and Vance sat in the main part of the cart with 50 pounds of frozen chicken and 30 rolls of paper towel.

We decided to pick up a new dog bed for Sid-Vicious because she has been sleeping on the boys extra bed and making it all dog stinky (yes, they share a twin bed, don't ask; they know there is another twin bed just waiting for one of them to sleep in it).  Vance decided to get comfortable in the cart and used the new dog bed as his pillow.

After adding a few more items, I asked Vance if he was okay since he was now camoulflaged by all of our groceries.  I don't think Owen was happy that Vance had a sweet pillow and a blanket made of oranges and Pledge because he decided he wanted to sit in the main cart with Vance.  I tried to tell him it wasn't as fun as it looked.  No dice.  I told him there is no room, which there wasn't.  Yep, no dice.  Finally, I just said no.  No, you cannot sit there, there is no room in the cart for you (or soup for you, for that matter.  Owen acquired what can only be described as short term hearing loss because he didn't hear any of that.  He made the decision on his own to climb out of the cart (while it was moving!).

He then tried to climb into the cart where Vance was on his own and would have succeeded if it weren't for you meddling kids.  Sorry, too many Scooby Doo episodes.  Anyway, he tried climbing in on his own, but I was able to stop him.  That's when he decided to let me and all of Costco know how unhappy he was with my decision.  We had yelling, tears, kicking, hitting, trying to climb back in over and over again.  This, legitimately, went on for 15 minutes.  I tried to tell him he was embarrassing himself.  I told him he was embarrassing me.  I told him he'd be sitting in his room when we got home.  I tried to shrink away from all of the stares.  You know the stares.  The stares that tell you exactly what kind of parent these strangers think you are based on the way your child is behaving in Costco.  Finally, FINALLY, after what seemed like an interminable amount of screaming and yelling, the food sample girls saved the day.

"Yogurt?  Try our Greek yogurt.  Only 90 calories and high in protein."

Owen's ears perked right up and he asked if he could have yogurt.  A good mom probably would have said no.  He didn't deserve it based on his behavior 11 seconds ago.  However, I just wanted to get through with Costco and go home with no more temper tantrums.  So, I gave in and let him and his brother and sister have the yogurt.  He was fine for the rest of the trip.  I don't think I want to know what this whole story says about me as a parent.



The next story is actually a little funny on Owen's part.  On Sunday night, I'm sitting down watching the Golden Globes.  So excited for Tina and Amy.  Vance comes out of his room crying because Owen has convinced him there is a hole in the floor of their room.  I told him it was a vent and he should go back to bed.  That wasn't good enough and he is legitimately crying.  So, I get off the couch, pause Tina and Amy, and head to casa V&O.  Vance tells me that there is a hole under their bed and they will fall into it while they are asleep.  At first, I laugh.  I mean, really?  You think there is a sinkhole that only Owen knows about big enough to swallow you, your brother, and the bed?  But, Vance is really scared and cries harder when I laugh.  So, I try to convince him that just the day before, I pulled the bed away from the wall to clean underneath it and there was no hole.  He doesn't believe me.  I try really hard to try to convince him there is no hole.  But, it's no use.  In his mind, there is a sinkhole waiting to devour him and nothing can change that.  So, in the end, I had to have Peter come in and talk him down.  I wonder how Peter convinced him there was no sinkhole ...


This last story probably says too much about me as a parent.  I was coming out of our room a few days ago and Owen scared me because I didn't realize he was standing in the hall.  He started laughing and I promised him I'd get him back.  Did I mention that I find it HILARIOUS when people get scared?  Anyway, when we were downstairs getting laundry and his back was turned, I walked to the back of the room where there are no lights and just stood there.  Owen knew I was back there, but couldn't see me.  He repeated over and over again, "Mom!  Mom?  Are you back there?  Mom!  Come out!"  I stood my ground and didn't come out.  He's very smart, that Owen, and knew I wanted to scare him so he wouldn't come back to find me.  Finally, his brother called him from the other room and he left his post guarding the door.  I made a quick dash to the front of the laundry room and stood behind the door he was just at waiting for him to come back.  He did.  I waited until just the right moment and then I jumped out and scared him.  The look on his face.  The screech of his voice.  It was priceless.  I laughed so hard I fell to the floor with tears on my face.  Luckily, Owen was a good sport and also fell to the floor laughing.  Good times :)

So, one terrible Owen story, one funny Owen story, and one terrible Mom story.  Yep, that pretty much sums up life in our household.  Happy New Year!!

My Sweet Boy

This blog post is to reassure my future daughter-in-law that with the mischieviousness comes some sweetness as well.  Look at him.  You can't get cuter than this, right?

P.S.  I'm writing this post in Owen's favorite color :)

Owen Is Not ALWAYS Mischievious

Only 99.9% of the time.  Hence, why there have been no blog updates since his birthday.  What?  That didn't make sense?  Well, let me put it this way; his antics were not for sharing the past few months.

But, it's the dawning of a new era.  Owen started school three weeks ago.  And, get this ... his teacher LOVES him.  Actually, I shouldn't say that like it's hard to believe.  Everybody who meets Owen loves him.  Antics aside, he is one of the sweetest, most loving, and adorable kids on the planet.

In fact, that's what this post is about.  Owen being cute and not mischievious.  One of my favorite things about Owen is his knack for giving himself kudos in the 3rd person.  The other night at dinner, Owen reminded Peter that he and Elsa needed vitamins.  Peter got up from the table to get them and Owen says, "Good call, Owen."  I laughed so hard I almost spit the water I just took a sip of out of my mouth.  That's my Owen.

I will end this short post with a new picture of my Owen ... on a horse.  Thanks to Auntie Alex (because his mom would NEVER volunteer to go near horses, I wonder where Owen gets the 3rd person thing from), Owen was able to go for a pony ride.  The kids had so much fun.  And, Owen looks like a king ;)

Happy 4th Birthday, Owen Michael

Happy Fourth Birthday to my wonderful son, Owen Michael (and Elsa Jane, but this blog isn't about her).  What better way to celebrate Owen's birthday than with an updated blog posting?

It looks like it's been almost three months since I posted last.  You might think that Owen is maturing and isn't getting into as much trouble and he used to, you know, because he's four now.  Nope!  You'd be wrong.  The reason there hasn't been any blog postings is because I CAN'T blog about Owen's latest antics.  Obviously, I can't go into it here, just know he's been his usual unruly self the past few months.

Some of you may know, from hearing from us, that Owen has become somewhat of a food hoarder.  I don't know if he is expecting an apocalypse (it is almost December 21, 2012, afterall) and thinks his nightstand drawer will survive with all of his goodies.  Or, if he just thinks we will stop feeding him one day.  Either way, he stashes food in his nightstand drawer.  Mostly candy, though I did find cough drops in there last week (and six packs of gum).  What will a now four year old do with six packs of gum???

The best, though, is what I found in his underwear drawer yesterday.  It was a can of Kirkland's weight loss shake in chocolate.  First, gross.  He obviously must not have tasted it because, if he had, he wouldn't want to keep that.  Second, seriously?  A weight loss shake?  Why does he do this?  Can anyone explain this to me?  When I told Peter, he questioned whether it was empty or full.  Full, luckily, I can't imagine what all of that weight lossiness garbage would do to a four year old's body.

Last week, the boys had emptied their nightstand drawer and Peter noticed Owen was very protective of a box of crayons.  When he investigated further, he realized the box was empty of crayons, but did contain a large number of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup miniatures.  He brought said box to me and showed me the contents.  I started laughing.  Peter's comment to me was that Owen will probably be really good at hiding his "sandwiches" (for those How I Met Your Mother fans) when he's a teenager.  Great!

Last night, the night of Owen's fourth birthday, I couldn't help but think about how much this birthday will probably be similar to his 21st birthday.  Picture this; Owen in just his underwear laying on the bathroom floor complaining that he is going to throw up.  On the way to lay down on the floor, he hits his head on the toilet bowl and a huge goosebump forms.  How'd you get that bump?  Oh, you know, throwing up, toilet bowl, not a good combination.  His fourth birthday sickness was because of too many sweets.  I have a feeling his 21st birthday sickness will be because of something else, but I imagine the picture will be the same.

I will leave this blog posting with an actual picture.  Remember, he is only four years old (three at the time the picture was taken).  I didn't climb trees as a child so I don't know if this is normal for one so young.  But, as a mother, I did freak out.  He was at least ten feet off the ground and would only come down once I bribed him with ... yes, you guessed it; candy.

Seriously?

Today, while we were watching the U-M basketball game (yes, I know we were not watching our kids and this is what happens), Vance came up from the basement and said Owen was getting into trouble.  I went downstairs to find the toilet plugged with an entire roll of toilet paper.  Seriously??  Why?  It just doesn't make sense the things he does sometimes.  And, the worst part is that Vance didn't come to tell us until Owen had used the entire roll.  Peter said he thinks that Vance likes to see how far Owen will go before he tells on him.  I cannot believe he is only three years old and we have many more years of this.  Sigh  :(

Brownies

Last weekend, I made brownies, but we didn't end up eating them because Kate & Neil came up and brought homemade Snicker's.  I decided to put them on top of the cupboards because Morley, our food shark, was sniffing around them.

On Sunday, Peter and I were in the basement putting together our budget for the month when we heard what sounded like a bunch of mischief coming from the kitchen.  Peter said Owen was probably getting into something (surprise, surprise) and I said I'd check on him when we were done.  A few minutes later I come out of the office and see Owen innocently playing with his cars in the basement.  Ruh-roh.

When I get upstairs, there is Morley and he has eaten the entire pan of brownies.  Owen got them down from on top of the cupboards, ate some of them (if the chocolate on his face was any indication), and then left them on the counter because he couldn't put them back up.  Then, he had the nerve to tell us he "tried" to put them back.  He didn't understand that he shouldn't have touched them in the first place.

Fast forward one day and Peter decides to make a new batch of brownies since we didn't get to eat the other ones.  Owen, while he was alone in the kitchen, opened the oven door and took a spoonful of the not yet ready brownies out of the middle of the pan and was just about to put it in his mouth when Peter caught him.  Peter was furious and sent Owen to his room.  I went to talk to him and explain why his dad was upset, how he can't just open the hot oven door and stick his hand inside, etc.  I told him he needed to say sorry to his dad.  He yelled, "I don't like saying sorry" and slammed his bedroom door.

Awesome.

Deep Thoughts

Today, after listening to Vance cry & whine because he wanted to finish watching Cars before his nap, I said that "Vance really pisses me off". Well, I accidentally said this within ear shot of Owen because I hear him say, "Daddy really pisses me off.". I tried my hardest not to laugh, but I couldn't contain myself. At least he used it properly, right?